Shores of Night

 I have a complicated relationship with love. On the one hand, part of me (I'm not sure which part) would love to be in love and to have a partner. To feel the smile tugging at my lips when I think of the other person and my heart beating faster. On the other, honestly, I hate it. I hate the obsession that comes with the early stages of love, the feeling that my thoughts lead only to them and I'm left marooned within the storm of emotions and hormones that come with them. The feeling that I can't function without the other person eventually just leaves me feeling strung out and unhappy.  Growing up I didn't develop much in the way of boundaries... or if I did, I quickly learned that they'd be ignored. To be honest, I don't think that was particularly novel - for certain generations, we just didn't get that experience (let's face it many of us grew up in  Philip Larkin's This Be The Verse  where generational trauma was the norm). Consequently, most of